On Your Bike

GET ON YOUR BIKE

No matter where we turn, it's the environment. It's the Earth! And like the Earth, my head is spinning from all of the information and the hypocrisy of private jet riding, elitist, globalists Davos attendees. However, I believe the answer is in the spin: spin the pedals. I believe it is time that we got on our bikes - especially the environ-mental-ists.

Now hear me out. Riding a bike is the most efficient method for a person to get around: calories, carbon etc. Therefore, the environmentalists - I'm just going to refer to them as the "mentals" from now on, until they stop gluing themselves to the road - should be happy, because cycling helps reduce energy consumption, emissions and your carbon footprint. Ticking all of the mentals' boxes at the moment. Okay, we can breathe easier now. Plus, cycling is sustainable and inclusive. So the woke should be happy too. Oh what am I saying? The woke are never happy.

"But what about the average guy? What's in it for us based and won't make you feel bad for drinking Jeremy Clarkson's cow juice kind of people?" I hear you ask. For a start you won't be wasting time during your daily commute. Before covid arrived the "average daily commute in 2018 was nearly 59 minutes (both ways combined)" - TUC. It is time that you just don't get back plus cycling can be faster. No more sitting in endless traffic! Think of the money you'll save on fuel! Giving a boost to local economies.

Additionally, obesity and mental health issues will be addressed by getting on our bikes. Saving the NHS and society. Just think of the gains... stronger legs, bigger lungs and tranquility.

Moreover, consider the developing world. A bike: reduces calorie consumption (reducing starvation); reduces journey times compared to walking (by half), increasing study hours and increasing a countries potential in numerous areas; enables people to commute longer distances (increasing opportunities for women); gives people freedom and opportunities.

As that Queen song goes: "I like to ride my bicycle." But I want to get to my destination without getting hit by a car or by a plonka Peckham pedestrian. And another thing... if the government wants to encourage cycling then why is there VAT on bikes and parts? I will speak for other cyclists here, we don't mind paying into some sort of fund for cycling infrastructure as long as every penny gets spent on that infrastructure.

To the mentals. Practice what you preach - which you never do - get on your bike. To the screaming, smug, socialist students... "get on your bike!" And finally, to Greta - you can do better - not-Thun-berg and her army of screechy striking school children... "get on your bike!" When I attended John Willmott School, I was the only one to cycle to school despite the challenges of distance and safety.

In conclusion. Cycling helps tackle obesity, helps solve poverty, saves time, saves money, saves the environment and helps to grow the economy. I'm in! Let's go!